Epiphanies

1x0hvi

Life throws a lot of crazy stuff at us. And when it is at its worst we struggle to find a solution. Often we are with others in this struggle. And natural instinct is to figure out an answer, fix things, make life easier.

Some of us are fixers, we like to help others, but sometimes no matter what you do you can’t help.

For a long time I had a subconscious belief that if I fixed things and took care of everyone, I would be valuable, worthy. It got to the point where I always put other’s needs way ahead of my own.

For over 3 years now I have found myself battling to keep our heads above water. Others are involved, I am not on my own in this. When a problem arises I would always work out a plan of attack and get to work implementing it. That is was I do, I solve problems, have done it my whole life, do whatever it takes to make things good again, make things work.

But sometimes no matter what you do it never works out. Setback after setback invades your life, you struggle against the tide of overwhelming adversity, but you do what you have always done. Get to work to find a solution.

But what if this is not my problem to solve?

This is something that recently occurred to me. What if I am not the one who has to learn the lesson in all of this?

I keep peeling away layers of myself and giving away pieces of myself but is it really me that needs to do this? Are they my problems to solve?

I work on myself everyday, looking for the positive in everything that happens, valuing myself so that I fulfil my purpose. But am I the one who needs to change in order for this situation to become what it needs to be? I can’t fix someone else’s problems or life if they aren’t willing to see everything for what it is.

We all need to accept responsibility for our actions and our words. See how we have contributed to the scheme of things. Understand what part we have played in our lives.

What is happening right now I don’t believe is my battle to fight. I have given away too much of myself in an attempt to do the best for everyone concerned, except for myself.

 

 

 

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