Looking back on the last year, I realise this hasn’t been a good year. In fact, neither was 2015. Financial struggles that seem to be on going and multiplying, new health problems, one business in the throes of possibly failing, its fate still uncertain.

A myriad of excuses can be found and used, but it ultimately comes down to myself and my partner. We made choices and decisions that gives us the situation we have today. It is so easy to blame the other person involved and a hundred other possible causes, new competition opened up, another business at the same market gained a bad reputation and it had a profound effect on our business, we can’t anticipate the weather, there were other markets and fairs on the same day. But do you increase your buying and reduce your prices to compensate?

I fully accept my part in this, I spoke my opinion when it was asked but what I should have done was pushed it home. I should have stood firm when I said no, not giving in to keep the peace. I know and understand my part in all of this and I am now working on a number of solutions to help begin to fix the problem.

Selling everything we can do with out is the first move, it won’t get us in front but it will get us through the next couple of weeks. And there are local charities around that will help with food and groceries for a small fee. Pride has nothing to do with this right now. We are in a precarious position and if we have to give up everything to get back on our feet then so be it.

The difficulty in parting with cherished items that once belonged to loved ones who have died, is the price I have to pay for my lack of affirmative action. But one thing I realise is, I still have a few wonderful photos and a lifetime of memories with each and every one of them. A few things will remain but they have no monetary value. I have these people and animals in my heart and that is all that matters.

My partner and I are desperately in need of a fresh start and I can only do what I can to make this happen. I cannot control him or what he does or doesn’t do. It’s not about a big screen TV or the latest DVD or a dragon statue or wolf picture, it is about survival, and keeping a roof over our heads and food on our table.

Maybe we need to get rid of everything to earn the fresh start we so desperately need. This is our price, for a better life. Letting go of things that serve no real purpose in our lives and are just dust collectors, to have the life we deserve. Who is to say….

Either way I am working towards 2017 being a much better year, and leaving the painful, negative past behind.

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