Life’s little hiccups

Life can throw up situations that we have to struggle through. It’s these times that really test us as human beings. Right now I am being tested in regards to money and finances. But I am not in this alone, I have a partner. We run a small business which over the winter has failed to thrive. Part of our income depends on the weather as we attend local markets for the bulk of our income. And all it takes is a few rainy days or bad weather of any kind and we lose money.

This business is in its first year and if we had started it just six months earlier, we would have had Spring and Summer to really help bring in money. We would have been able to put away some savings to get us through the winter. We are really struggling. And it doesn’t help that we are snowed under with other debt, the very van we use for the business is still being paid off and we have had to do some major repair work on it since we bought it.

Our livelihood is in the balance at the moment. We are not sure if the business will survive long enough to make it through to Summer when some real money can be made.

What makes it worse is, I am unable to obtain some part-time employment to tide us over for a while. Health issues limit me.

I suppose this is a reminder not just for us, that when you have good incomes and money is not an issue, don’t rush out to buy things that you can’t pay cash for and have to obtain a loan or use a credit card. Because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Whose to say you won’t lose your job tomorrow or your health will fail and you have no alternative but to leave your job.

Our society is so big into having everything today and worry about paying for it tomorrow. We have become so materialistic and place importance in things way too much. It is so rare now to find someone who doesn’t have a lot of debt. We always have to have more and have it right now.

Go back a few generations and couples would buy a house and live in it for the rest of their lives and hand it down to their children when they die. They would scrimp and save for a decent deposit and only buy what they could afford. But it seems we have so many who buy or build a house, get it to the way they want it then sell it and go do it all over again. And the houses are so big now, who needs lots of bedrooms and bathrooms if you are only a couple. Who needs so many rooms that you have to buy so much furniture to fill them. I just don’t understand the mentality of it. Why have six beds when you only sleep in one? Why have 10 couches if you only have one ass?

We are such a wasteful and consumerist society. I hear of women and men who have closets bigger than their bedroom. Hundreds of shoes, dozens of dresses etc. It is senseless waste.

We have a new mental illness that is ravaging society, HOARDING. People who become so caught up in buying things in order to fill a hole that can only be filled by themselves. We have clutter experts and TV Shows about hoarding. We place emotional attachment in things instead of people. We turn to buying to deal with our pain and emotions instead of turning to our family and friends to support us. People live in houses packed to the roof with stuff and live with vermin and mould and are so overwhelmed by it all they can’t cope. And the worst part often these people have so much debt too.

I, myself, have been guilty of hoarding shoes and scrapbooking and craft supplies. What finally got me over my shoe addiction was paying $200 for a pair of shoes that weren’t even comfortable to wear and I never wore them ever. They just sat in my closet gathering dust. But I just HAD to have them. I gave them away to a charity shop years later. And this was in the early 80’s when $200 got you a pair of handmade leather shoes from Italy and my rent back then was $65 per week.

My scrapbooking addiction started when I worked for a company who sold scrapbooking supplies wholesale and employees got 50% off. It was about the time my father died. I wasn’t able to grieve properly because of other things going on in my life at the time so I got hooked and filled up a bedroom with paper and embellishments and rubber stamps etc to fill the void my father left. And I bought all of this to make up an album about his life that I could pass on to the next generation. Only problem was I have no children and my brother and I parted ways about the same time because of a lifetime of problems and his children wanted nothing to do with me. 10 years later I have reduced it to two small crates of supplies that I know I will use with my artwork and personally for making cards.

So much waste, so much stuff that I used to numb my emotions with to fill a void that could only be filled by giving myself time to grieve and process my past.

I realised I am not my things, my possessions don’t define me as a person, I don’t need a big house, or 100 pairs of shoes to know who I am. I do my artwork that gives me a creative outlet, I have done professional therapy and self therapy, and now I deal with my emotions and my pain in a way that helps me to let it go. Unfortunately my partner is not so like-minded. He still lives his life on credit and is not the best when it comes to finances. I could take care of things when I was able to work but now I have to rely on my own small business which I have had to neglect to help him out.

My partner and I find ourselves in a situation where we are going to have to sell some of our things. We have had to do this in the past. I no longer have a wedding or engagement ring. I don’t own any gold jewelry mostly because the gold price went through the roof a couple of years ago and it was far more profitable to sell it than have it lying around collecting dust.




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