Recently I contacted my estranged brother’s son, to congratulate him on his life successes and his engagement. I eventually got a reply back and basically I was told I had made my choice and I had to live with it.
The worst part about all this, he and his two sisters never bothered to find out the other side of this family story, they accepted their father’s word as the truth and that was that. I can understand children siding with their parents especially when they are young but these children, my nieces and nephew are adults in their twenties and thirties, and the girls have children of their own. Not once have they ever made an effort to get to know me, they just accepted their father’s word and believed me to be the bad apple, the black sheep of the family.
I reached out to my nephew so that I could give him the photo album I had made of my dad, his grandfather, but I was told to go away. I apologised for intruding and said goodbye. The photo album will end up in the bin, no doubt, when I am gone. It is a shame as it has a lot of family history and information in it. It ends with me.
I am sad that it has ended like this, my heart is broken at the rejection yet again, but at least I know now that I have not been welcome in their lives and never will be. It means I have no family as I have no children of my own. But if that is how it is meant to be then so be it. I have no obligation to anyone other than myself. I have a small family with my husband and stepdaughter and the friends I have made along the way.
It is a sad awakening when you meet a young woman who knows more about your eldest niece than you do. You were always the family’s dirty little secret. Their closest friends, people they had know for 20 years never knew you existed until you showed up to one of the rare family occasions you were actually invited to. I was rejected from their lives long before these young adults were old enough to form opinions of their own.
I am proud of their achievements and a part of me will always love them, but they are no longer a concern of mine. God bless and keep safe.