Just recently I tried to write a blog about Mental Health but it just didn’t come together.
As well as Borderline Personality Disorder, I have to deal with Anxiety on a daily basis. In the past it has gotten so bad I have been unable to leave my home. And have been rushed to emergency because ambulance staff were concerned I was having a heart attack, because of the pain I was getting in my chest. I take medication to help deal with the anxiety. But it doesn’t stop there.
My therapist taught me some techniques to deal with anxiety and how to put together a plan of action whenever I felt one coming on. I learned how to recognise triggers and how to get panic attacks under control.
I use meditation to learn how to breathe to get my breathing under control whenever I feel one coming on. I have learned to focus in such a way to busy my mind and stop the invasive negative thoughts that happen in the panic moment. I wrote up a list of situations that I would avoid, with a step by step plan on how to conquer them. Came up with a repertoire of positive self talk to use in the moment. And I worked out a plan of action to deal with the panic so I have clear guidelines to follow.
It has all paid off. I still have anxiety when I am placed in situations that I had difficulty before but now I can automatically work to get it under control and stop it altogether.
What I needed to get right in my mind, was having Anxiety and BPD wasn’t my fault, I definitely didn’t bring it upon myself and I sure as hell don’t deserve it. A dysfunctional childhood and adults around me who taught me that life was painful and I couldn’t trust any one, is the reason why I have to deal with this now. I had to suppress my emotions as a child and those who should have protected me and nurtured me were the ones who hurt me and made me feel worthless and abandoned.
If you are dealing with Mental Health Issues it is not your fault, you never did anything to deserves this and you should definitely not be made to feel shame for something that was done to you or happened to you.
Become a Mental Health Warrior and fight for yourself. Talk about your issues and never feel shame or allow people to make you feel shame for having to be strong for too long. We are all warriors because we have to fight the tough fight everyday.